Survivor is Crack: Episode 7

On last week's show we saw the end of the young alliance, that formerly consisted of Brandon, Silas, Kim, and Lindsey. Just two weeks ago they looked like they were about to be a million dollars richer, but now only two remain. Ethan has catapulted himself into the favorite position, but that might not necessarily be a good thing, just ask Silas. Can he use his sway and enter the merger on his terms, or will he become the next target?

Last Week's Show Summary:

-Before I make any wild predictions about this week's show, let's take a quick look at last week's. It came down to a tribal council for Samburu that pitted Tom, Lex, Kelly vs. Brandon, Kim P., & Lindsey. It looked like the young folks had the old foolios convinced that Brandon had votes against him. But either Brandon's girlish chatter or hand signals from the other tribe allowed the old folks to figure out that Lindsey was the one to set their sights on. She nearly flipped the script and sold out Brandon, but in the end she did the "right" thing and allowed her ass to be booted. If that's "right", than I wanta be wrong...and rich.

Who's been booted thus far:

Eliminated - Picture - Name - Mock Final Quote

1. Diane - "Hello, Hugh, ya ready for another centerfold?"

2. Jessie - "How can you kick me off, I look like J Lo!?!"

3. Carl - "I may be off the island, but I still have a Porsche and a Mercedes...suck on that!"

4. Linda - "Mother Africa will make you all pay!!!!"

5. Silas - "They didn't pull this switching tribes crap on the 'Fat Naked Fag'!"

6. Lindsey - "I was in an alliance with the gay guy, how did I lose? I thought they always won these shows."

Pointless Babble from Goc:

I hit up Survivor's official website at CBS.com and they had some info on next week's show. A few sentences to gas up the hype for this week's show. Here's what those bastards had to say:

One tribe member, not fully trusted due to an early mistake, makes a critical deal with another. Will this person stay true to the promise?
Another tribe member feels more comfortable amongst the animals than amongst the people. Will the people vote against him?
And the question on the minds of the ten remaining Survivors: When will the tribes merge into one? And most importantly, how will the change in the game (from tribe against tribe to individual against individual) affect the dynamics between them?

-Let's attempt to decipher these...shall we? The tribe member who wasn't trusted early has to be Clarence. Remember Episode 1: The Bean-Eating Menace, when Clarence opened the can without asking anyone? Who could Clarence be making promises to? We must assume that this means an alliance of some sorts, and the only ones that he might join up with would be possibly Frank & Teresa or Ethan & Kim J. Hmmmmm, I'm saying he goes with Frank & T in an attempt to oust the favorite Ethan. But what the hell do I know?

-"Another tribe member feels more comfortable amongst the animals." What in Jesus H. Christ is that supposed to mean? Well, Tom was probably voted "Most Likely to F*ck a Goat" in high school, and he still looks the part. I don't know if there are goats in Africa, but lord knows Tom will be walking around trying to get busy with whatever he can find. It's a bad week to be a giraffe.

-The topic of when the merge will go down is going to be very important as it will most likely have a great impact on the winner of the game. If they hold off a few more weeks, someone physically strong (who could have won personal immunity after the merge) might get ousted by the smart marks who have their eyes on the prize. But as we saw last week, Boran has less food than I do. (Note: I live off of Mac & Cheese and bread and water). They won't be able to hold off the merge if the Borans get any skinnier, so I perhaps they'll pull off some award challenge and attempt to rig it in their favor. If not, expect the merge next week.

-Well, we've looked at the three "hints" that CBS.com has dropped on us. By doing some analyzing (I'm so scientific with my bullshittin'), these are the people that it looks like could have their heads on the chopping block this week: Clarence, Ethan, Tom. And Brandon has looked like he's always one step off the island, so if you pick one of these 4 to be booted this week...you should be safe.

Well, that's it for my Episode 7 Pre-Show so you won't be completely clueless when the show airs. But before I go each week, I'm going to list who I think looks like they are going to win at the current time and who it looks will get kicked off next. So my blind selections are....

Current Favorite: Ethan

-To everyone who's watching the show with their eyes open, Ethan has to be considered the favorite to take home the million. After checking the current votes at CBS.com, it looks like I'm not the only one on the Ethan bandwagon. The bastard is currently holding down over 33% of all votes for favorite to win. Times as Favorite: 2nd.

Who's Getting the Boot Next: Clarence

-My theory is that Boran is throw a challenge based on remarks they've made about considering doing so. Ethan is a crafty, sly bastard and I could see him taking a dive so he has the chance to knock the strong Clarence out before the eventual merge. He's a bastard for doing it, but I'm afraid it's going to happen. My record thus far: 3-3.

That's it for this week, stay tuned. And remember Survivor is an addiction, it makes crack look like Now 'N Laters. You've been warned, now...

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