Buckleys

Things That Piss Vigilante Off!

-Buckley's-

A Column by

Vigilante



Have you ever wondered what open ass, bleach, and nitrate would taste like if mixed into a drink? Neither have I, but unfortunately I have tasted that mixture in the form of a medicine hailing from Canada (isn't it always their fault? :-)). No, the medicine isn't actually made of those things, but it sure as hell tastes like it. The name of this potent liquid...Buckley's. And after one tasting, the way you view other medicines will never be the same.

The ultimate question that seems to occur when asking people about Buckley's seems to be:

How can I make it taste better?
Some recommendations from loyal Buckley's users are:

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"Take it with a spoonful of honey"
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"Mix it with a small amount of your favorite juice"
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"Add a small amount of warm water to make it go down smoother"
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"Drink some juice immediately after to chase the taste away"
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"Plug your nose"
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"Keep it in the refrigerator"

 

These are all f*ck*n lies people. NOTHING makes this crud taste better. After taking down a spoonful of this ish, you will begin to go into mild convulsions, as every place on your body that allows air to penetrate will be opened so far that it seems a truck will be able to go through. Taking a couple of spoonful’s of this ish is the ultimate way to get the "shit face" out of the toughest of people.

Seeing as how bad this medicine tastes, I had to take it upon myself to see exactly what made this ish up. Because Buckley's Mixture has a herbal base, ingredients such as Canada balsam, menthol, camphor and pine needle oil give Buckley's a taste which most people describe as awful.

 Upon seeing what all is included within Buckley’s, I think its safe to say that none of that crap sounds like it should be ingested. Hell, camphor is something people rub on their bodies. No wonder it feels like you’re swallowing acid when you take this medicine. I think instead of giving this to people when their sick, we should give it to people who are spending time in jail. When they get out of hand, tie their ass up and slap this down their throat. I GUARANTEE that they will never act up again. Hell, they’ll probably start giving you oral pleasures just so you don’t bring that damn bottle in smelling distance.

I beg all of you, stay away from this medicine. Sure it gets the job done, but there are a lot of other medicines out there that do the same thing without removing 10 years from your life. But if you must be brave, and Buckley’s is the way for you…may God have mercy on your soul.


-Now that you've read something, he's written. Wouldn't you like to find out more about Vigilante? Here you go.

 


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