Things That Piss Vigilante Off

Am I the only person on this Earth who refuses to let Bill Gates throw his "baby maker" into my mouth? Am I the only one not buying into the hype of a machine that doesn’t even have on single solitary second of gameplay revealed to ANYONE?! Am I the only person who sees the X-box as the sequel to the other American videogame system named "3D0"? If you have fallen into the hype of this machine, than you are either a) a very hard-core gamer that loves every videogame system that has ever been created (Yes, I mean your dumb ass purchased a 3do) OR b) you are one of the proud, the strong, the many…an X-box Cocksucker.

What makes a person an X-box cocksucker? Well several characteristics make this term apply. For starters, they will begin to say very dumb ass things about other videogame systems. For instance, a lot of X-box cocksuckers tend to believe that more hard-core gamers will buy the X-box…while the upcoming Nintendo Gamecube will appeal to the kiddies. *Cough* Pull it out!! *Cough*. X-box will appeal to the hard-core gamers without question, and those guys that loved their pc-based games (60%+ of X-box’s developers are former PC game developers)…but veteran gamers, casual gamers, and even the kiddies will lean towards the more reliable systems known as Gamecube and Playstation 2. Nintendo is far from a kiddy system, and any person that thinks that way is Bill Gate’s personal butt slut. Nintendo, the same system that have games on their system entitled Goldeneye, Metroid, Zelda, Shadow Man, Perfect Dark, is a kiddy system. Man, I don’t know how you people plan to raise your kids, but I for one don’t want my kids playing games catered for them that take days to complete, include shooting people like mad men, or having people die and be resurrected as some hero. Be serious people, stop believing what Gates is spoonfeeding you people. Nintendo is the smartest f’n company in the market. They aren’t dumb asses and have games for just one market. They know the market is a lot larger than one specific gamer, they’ve been at the business for years. Mario is a name that people recognize, a Mario game alone will sell at least 20,000 units. Unlike X-box, Nintendo makes games for all ages. I don’t think that makes a company kiddy oriented...makes them smart to me.

Another thing that makes the X-box cocksucker prominent is the "They don’t need Japan to make it" sentence. Yeah, that’s what the 3d0 thought, and it’s now the centerpiece for a lot of dumb ass game collector’s dining room table. Quite frankly, Japan is a much harsher video game country than the U.S. Without question, the X-box will come in third behind the Ps2 and the Gamecube over there. That is not something that has made many systems survive for very long (Can we say Dreamcast???!). Without Japanese support, they lose A LOT of the videogaming market. I know Gates has enough money to throw around to take some losses here and there, but what will be the geek’s breaking point. Only time shall tell.

Oh, what about when those X-box cocksuckers say, "The X-box is coming out before the Gamecube, and will have a low starting price." WRONGO my children ingesting friend. Gamecube comes out three days BEFORE the X-box and for 100 dollars cheaper. Ok, so lets see. Its aroung Xmas time, and a new nintendo system is released with games and character that people have grown up on for 100 dollars less. I mean, you don't really have to be a rocket scientist to see that the X-box is going to be climbing a major mountain trying to gets buyers for an entirely new system in a time where Nintendo always reigns supreme. Although, if settling for the spot that Dreamcast had at number 3 is what floats you guys boat...then its there for your taking.

The final thing that signals you’re dealing with a grand X-box cocksucker is the fact that they believe their system to be vastly superior to everything on the market. That could very well be possible, but how would anyone know? We haven’t seen any playable action of any of their games. We’ve seen tons of movies, but so what. Ps2 has great movies too. What it comes down to is gameplay. Don’t believe me? Ask the Dreamcast and the 3DO. Both of those systems were the most powerful machines on the market during their time, but their lack of a variety of software dug themselves into a hole they couldn’t find their way out of. The ps2 has a huge installed base now. And to you f*ckers that say, "Yeah, but its not selling now that you can find one." Did it ever occur to you dumb asses that the people who were in demand for the system in the area you’re looking has one already. PS2 has a 1million unit fan base in 6 months. With new must have titles dropping each month (NBA Street, GT3, NCAA College Football), the numbers will gradually become larger and larger.The Dreamcast didn’t have a i million fan base in two years. None of you dumb asses said, hey now that you can find a dreamcast, they’re not selling. That’s the dumbest damn thing I’ve ever heard in my life. The Ps2 did what it said it would, get 1 million units in the home in a year. They’ve reached their base, now what they get is just icing on the cake. Games like Metal Gear Solid, Final Fantasy, GT3 will keep the installed base of the psx2 increasing, and when the Xbox finally comes out in November it will not have enough to climb that huge ass mountain. No matter what it comes withand ESPECIALLY with Nintendo coming out at the same time. It will take nothing short a miracle for them to reach 1 million. Rather you think the ps2 sucks or not, the gaming public has spoken. Lets see the X-box top that. Hard-core gamers will flock, but the rest will "wait and see" like they did with the Dreamcast. Oh yeah, what is Sega up to nowadays?

So, if you see an X-box cocksucker on their knees, tell them to stand up and wipe off their mouth. Wait till there is a face (substance) to go with the rest of that man(hype), before you go dropping to your knees.

-Now that you've read something, he's written. Wouldn't you like to find out more about Vigilante? Here you go.