-The Ramones sucked. They suck now and always will suck. They have about as
much talent as a one-legged man in an ass-kicking contest.
-Contrary to popular belief MTV has nothing to do with music. Unless you're watching at
4:00 a.m. and catch a Papa Roach video. Then it's half-straight.
-I believe without a shadow of a doubt that the Irish sensation Samantha Mumba is a man in
drag. A woman cannot have a body like that and have such an ugly face slapped on its head.
-Kurt Loder is gay.
-Its not cool to paint your fingernails. The exploitation of dead skin cells for no
foreseen purpose other than to accessorize ones new mini-skirt or sweater is very
un-womanly. See also the Kurt Loder statement.
-Franken-berry is the best cereal ever made. If anyone thinks otherwise contact me
privatley for an a punch in the throat.
-The turn-around channel of the year has to be TNN. It went from bull-riding and Dukes of
Hazzard to bull-riding, Dukes of Hazzard, and XFL football.
-Bill Clinton should be in jail.
-Who cares if the Chinese are at fault for a mid-air collision. The fact of the matter is
that we killed a communist and we have enough nuclear weapons to blow up the world 36
times. Don't fuck with the states.
-Jerry Springer is a god-dammed genius. Who else can make season after season of the same
topic and still make it look interesting. I rank him with the likes of Thomas Edison and
the man who invented bottled water.
-There's nothing more relieving than a shit you don't have to wipe after. Other cool
things about shit are that it helps make the fields that grow the corn for your
morning Frosted Flakes taste better and your bacon more leaner. (It's a little known fact
that pigs do eat cow shit)
-The handicapped do not deserve to park any closer to the front of a store than I do.
-It's my firm belief that 90% of the people on the internet are morons. People talk way
too much shit to me and they have no idea. Please f*ckers if you ever talk to a man by the
name of Hoss, Jesse Schutterle, Joker9981 or any other alias I might have, please don't
talk shit. I'm the real deal not some nerdy f*cker who got 32 on his ACT's. I can bench
almost 300 pounds and my arms are 19 inches around. My neck is 18 inches around and my
chest is 44 inches around. Don't mess with me. I'm a time bomb. |
