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Must-See Spring Movies!

A Story by

Goc & Vigilante


Hannibal, Cast Away, Crouching Tiger, O Brother, Traffic...it's been one hell of a winter to be a movie viewer. The cold weather hasn't been enough to stop me from attending great movie after great movie this winter. But what's coming soon? What movies put asses in theater seats this Spring? We can't predict box office success, but we know the movies we want to see this Spring....

 

Spring Movies I Must See (Top 10)!

Goc's Picks:

Rank

Movie Description:

#10.

down_to_earth.jpg (13383 bytes) Down to Earth - Plot: A struggling black comedian dies and switches bodies with a much older white man.

-I know this is already out, but my lazy ass has yet to get to the theater. Can Chris Rock do wrong? I know this type of movie has been done a million times, but Rock can save it. Did you see his MTV Diary, if not you're missing proof that Chris Rock is the funniest man on the planet...no contest.

#9.

knockaround_guys.jpg (10468 bytes) Knockaround Guys - Plot: The film follows four sons of well-known Brooklyn-based mobsters and their desperate fight to retrieve a bag of cash in a small Montana town ruled by a corrupt sheriff.

-Diesel, Malkovich, and Hopper all in the same movie, can this not be good? But believe it or not, it's a comedy. Seth Green is also invovled, who is always hilarious. Malkovich showed he can be funny in Being John, and Diesel is 100% flava. I'm a mark already.

#8.

cavemans_valentine.jpg (10365 bytes) The Caveman's Valentine - Plot: A cave-dwelling man sets out to track down the killer of a homeless boy and bring him to justice.

-A psychological thriller and it has Samuel L. Where do I send my money? My favorite genre and one of my favorite actors, I'm wetter than the Atlantic Ocean during El Nino just thinking about it.

#7.

freddy_got_fingered.jpg (24229 bytes) Freddy Got Fingered - Plot: A man is forced to move back in with his parents, then refuses to leave.

-I'll admit it...yes, I'm a fan of Tom Green. It's true he can be a complete idiot and freakishly annoying, but I laugh during his show and loved his parts in Road Trip. Sue me.

#6.

the_mexican.jpg (8771 bytes) The Mexican - Plot: A man tries to transport an ancient gun called The Mexican, believed to carry a curse, back across the border, while his girlfriend pressures him to give up his criminal ways.

-Let it be known, I'm far from a big fan of Julia Roberts. I don't know what my problem is, but I find her hard to like. But with Brad Pitt and James Gandolfini involved I still mark out for The Mexican. If this was more violence, less comedy this would be #1 on my list.

#5.

joe_dirt.jpg (8987 bytes) Joe Dirt - Plot: David Spade stars as Joe Dirt, an idiot who works as an oil weller who is on the search for his parents who abandoned him when he was a baby at the grand canyon.

-David Spade, Love him or hate him? I can't help it, but I love his humor. This movie also has fellow smart-ass Dennis Miller, Christoper Walken, Kid Rock, and mullets galore. The white trash part of me can't wait to order this one on pay-per-view via the satellite hooked to my trailer, ha.

#4.

memento.jpg (7768 bytes) Memento - Plot: A man, suffering from short-term memory loss, uses notes and tattoos to hunt down his wife's killer.

-The premise is wettening. I haven't been as enticed by a story this much since Frequency. And with less profile stars, the story is going to be the driving force behind this movie. It may be hard to find in theaters, but I can't wait to start looking.

#3.

15_minutes.jpg (7423 bytes) 15 Minutes - Plot: A famous homicide detective and a fire marshall team up to solve a case.

-Most of you have seen the trailer for this one, it's accompanied such recent films as Traffic and Hannibal. This one looks damn exciting even if it's similar to Mad City and Natural Born Killers. But who cares what it's similar to? Deniro is in it, it will be great...nuff said.

#2.

along_came_spider.jpg (6385 bytes) Along Came a Spider - Plot: A congressman's daughter under Secret Service protection is kidnapped from a private school by an insider who calls Det. Alex Cross, sucking him into the case even though he's recovering from the loss of his partner.

-The prequel to the great serial killer movie, Kiss the Girls. This time no Ashley Judd, but I could care less. Morgan Freeman plays a great cop and is in good movies..period. I don't see this dominating the box office, but I know I'll be there opening night.

#1.

blow.jpg (6037 bytes) Blow - Plot: A young man works with Colombian drug traffickers to smuggle cocaine into the United States in the 1970s.

-Sure it sounds like a porno movie, but I can't help myself, I want to see this movie...I MUST SEE THIS MOVIE! Johnny Depp + Ray Liotta + Pee Wee Herman + Cocaine + Ted Demme directing = golden. Think Goodfellas meets Fear and Loathing in Las Vegas. This is one of those movies where I saw the preview and I already thought of not only going to it, but purchasing it on DVD. But I thought that about Hannibal too, so I could be wrong. But as of now, I want to see this movie like a coke-head needs another line.

Vigilante's Picks:

#10.

Fast and Furious The Fast and the Furious - Plot: A bunch of LA street gang youths adapt sports cars into dangerous weapons which they race illegaly. As the cops close in on the racket, one falls for a female racer whose brother leads one of the gangs.

-Yeah, this movie looks like its straight b-movie material. But isn't that what made the man known as Vin Diesel what he is today. I mean, caneyou really go wrong with a bunch of gun scenes, sweet ass car chases, and Vin Diesel? I think not.

#9.

Forsaken The Forsaken - Plot: Heading to Florida for a wedding, a young man picks up a hitchhiker whose not all he seems to be - he's a vampire hunter out to stop the bloodsuckers and soon the road trip begins taking dark and deadly turns.

-Vampires and Guns with a road trip? Oh god yes, I'm there. This movie seems like it was tailor made for the Vigster here, and I'm sure not going to let the studios down.

#8.

cavemans_valentine.jpg (10365 bytes) Knockaround Guys - Plot:The film follows four sons of well-known Brooklyn-based mobsters and their desperate fight to retrieve a bag of cash in a small Montana town ruled by a corrupt sheriff.

-Ok...so let me get this straight. Dennis Hopper, John Malkovich, Vin Diesel, and Seth Green are alliin the same movie? Then why the hell am I writing this ish, lets see this damn movie!!!

#7.

freddy_got_fingered.jpg (24229 bytes) Freddy Got Fingered - Plot: A man is forced to move back in with his parents, then refuses to leave.

-Tom Green is an ass, no doubt about it. He sucked an udders milk sac for God's sake. However digusting and annoying he is, he still makes me laugh. So, I have to see this one. Non-Green fans should stay away.

#6.

Enemy of the Gates Enemy of the Gates - Plot: Based on a true story. During the Siege of Stalingrad, one of the bloodiest battles of WW2, a Russian and a German sniper play a deadly game of cat and mouse with each intent on putting a bullet in the other's skull.

-Ed Harris, Jude law, Joseph Feinnes and war picture make Vigilante there every time. Some of the best actors, a true story, and a budget that would make some action films shudder....and it was filmed in Europe. This had Vigi here interested the second the first clip flashed across the screen.

#5.

Original Sin Original Sin - Plot:Historical romance/thriller about a young American bride who travels to Cuba with her new, wealthy husband. Once there, however, marital fidelity is the last thing on her mind

-Wow, this trailer was a very grabbing one to say the least. The story of betrayal has never looked so intense before, and here the two players in the game are Antonio Banderas and Angelina Jolie. Heh, and even if the movie doesn't live up to what I think...Angelina will be ass naked.

#4.

Along Came A Spider Along Came A Spider - Plot: Suspenseful sequel to Kiss the Girls follows detective Alex Cross (Freeman) as he investigates another series of mysterious kidnappings. This time, he has the help of a young FBI agent (Potter).

-Another one of my favorite books being turned into movie sequels. Like the first movie, this movie will be nothing short of eery. Morgan Freeman is one of the most underated actors out there, and I can't wait to see him on the screen again. I will, however, miss Ashley Judd's fine ass.

#3.

Spy Kids Spy Kids - Plot: Wacky comedy about two children who, after their mother and father are kidnapped, discover their parents are former spies. They only way to get them back are for the pair to become the world's youngest secret agents.

-You're probably reading this choice, and thinking...wtf?!? But before you do, you might want to take a gander at the trailer. This movie is a lot more than a kids movie, its a special effect laced action film with kids at the helm. And with the great Robert Rodriguez ("From Dusk Till Dawn", "Desperado") at the helm, my interest is more than peaked

#2.

The Mexican The Mexican - Plot: Romantic crime comedy about rascal petty crook (Pitt) whose stormy relationship with his girlfriend (Roberts) self-destructs when he accepts a risky job south of the border. Soon she becomes embroiled in underworld doings when he absconds with a rare pistol meant for his boss.

-The best female actress in Hollywood now, hands down. After coming off her great oscar winning performance in "Erin Brockovich", Julia turns back to what has made her America's sweetheart...comedy's. Roberts, with the always entertaining Pitt, and a plot line that makes my mouth water...I look foward to this movie with each passing second.

#1.

15 minutes 15 Minutes - Plot: A action thriller/black comedy about a detective and an arson expert who team up to solve a series of strange fire-related murders which the tabloids are very interested in and desperate to find out anything they can on it.

-This looks to me like the movie that is just going to know my socks off. Not only is it a complete smack in the face to the media, but it stars one of the greatest actors of all time...not to mention Edward Burns. The moment I first laid eyes on the trailer last year, I knew I was in love.

-So there ya have it folks, the movies that we feel will give you the most bang for your bucks. There seems to be an agreement between Vigilante and The Goc that "15 Minutes", "Along Came A Spider", and "The Mexican" are the most popular of the movies, while Vigilante is looking for "Spy Kids" to be more than meets the eye and the Goc is going for Depp in "Blow" to pull some movie muscle. Go on your own if you dare, but if you end up seeing the next "Battlefield Earth"...don't come to GYEAH.COM crying. We have spoken.

 


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-Now that you've read something, he's written. Wouldn't you like to find out more about The Goc? Here you go.

-Now that you've read something, he's written. Wouldn't you like to find out more about Vigilante? Here you go.


 


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