Men Knowledge

After reading Skizzows beautiful article "Groundhog Day" I knew how I wanted to make my Gyeah debut. The knowledge he preached about our broken record days only made me realize how old I feel. Day after day I drift farther and farther into the arthridict, I can’t remember, or hear, smell funny and go to bed early, world of old people. Ok so it isn’t that bad yet, but things sure have changed for me over the last few months. Just a year ago I couldn’t have cared less about what the hell I was going to do the next day let alone a month down the road. Now I got everything planned out down to the exact minute, including when I would have time to pillage the world with this piece of ass. If your lucky enough not to know what I’m talking about then let me steal 10 minutes of your day and inject you with this bit of wisdom. What I’m saying is- listen up bitch. You don’t want this pain.

First: NEVER be locked to the clock. I am and it f –ing blows. I think it comes with responsibility, which I’ve also learned sucks. Run from responsibility every chance you get! Think about this one for a second. If someone gives you a new responsibility, or you inherit one by knocking up your girlfriend, you’ve only added to your problems and lessened your amount of free time. Once you have a new responsibility it never goes away. You’re trapped. You will never have less responsibility than the previous day, unless of course something dies. Like if you have a pet and it dies. Well, there’s one less responsibility. Other than that your f –ed. No one ever will let you to lighten your load because that would mean you’re irresponsible. So you just accumulate more and more shit to take up your time until finally you can’t take it anymore and die of a massive heart attack. Run I tell you!

Second don’t fight the fact that you will get fatter with age. It will happen so just sit back relax and enjoy the fat ride. I’ve tried to fight it, but after serving the man for at least 10 hours a day, working out is the last thing I want to do when I get home. Not that I’m pleased about this. Actually it really pisses me off. I hate moving up a waistsize every 2 weeks, but I’ve learned to say the hell with it, and you will too. I suggest you sit around watching all those in denial, lifting weights and eating Subway ‘til they bleed, while you down your second bag of Doritos in a week. By the way, like everyone else, I’m developing a serious complex towards everything Subway related, thanks to our good friend Jared. I mean yes praise the guy for losing the weight, but enough is enough. I got a huge middle finger and leg for the marketing majors that won’t give that one up.

Lastly, always let the woman in your life plan everything. This relates directly to number one, but it will also save you plenty of headaches. When you’re young you got plenty of energy, stubbornness, and time to argue with a woman about almost anything. After all you figure who gives a shit. If she’s too much of a bitch to listen to what you got to say then f her and don’t call her back. But as you get older you eventually get tricked into loving one of them, and then your’re screwed. Do not argue under any circumstances. Just let her win so that when she falls asleep and you can sneak back to your PS2. This, however, is not to say that you should wear the skirt in the relationship. Any guy that does has gone way too far. Point him in my direction and I’ll wake him up with a punch to the face. Still though, I say if it comes down to arguing, or an extra hour with the latest gaming system, pick the system every time.

-Now that you've read something, he's written. Wouldn't you like to find out more about the Rooster? His bio is coming soon!.