| With every
sport under the sun forming leagues I think that we need some real entertainment. I live
in Columbus, OH, home of more worthless teams than you could ever imagine. We have/had The
Columbus Land Sharks (Lacrosse), The Columbus Glory (The old-ass World League Football),
The Columbus Quest (women’s basketball), The Columbus Xogg (some gay-ass soccer
league), and the ever popular Columbus Horizon (Continental Basketball League). We do have
the Columbus Crew (MLS) and The Columbus Blue Jackets (NHL) but really can I get something
other that soccer and hockey. I propose a league that would tour the country with real
athletes, well kinda. They would be porn stars/athletes. Real athleticism is shown by a
guy who and finish first and third in a masturbation contest not by sinking a three foot
putt.
The league would shape up something like this
| East |
|
Central |
|
West |
| Alabama Ass Darts |
|
Arkansas Ass Bandits |
|
Arizona Anal Beads |
| Boston Butt Plugs |
|
Cleveland Cum Dumpsters |
|
California Clits |
| Carolina Cum Guzzlers |
|
Minnesota Mushroom Stampers |
|
Portland Pubes |
| Memphis Money Shots |
|
Texas Taint |
|
San Diego Sluts |
Each week will have a different theme to it.
Possibilities are still being finalized but things like concealing the most
"toys" and which teams can fill the jar with bodily fluids first are now
definite.
The league would consist of intercourse…um I mean
inter-league play between divisions with the four teams with the best records in a double
penetration (or elimination) tournament with the championship game being known as the
Lion’s Den Porn Bowl.
Forecast
Barring injury during the regular season it looks like
Memphis Money Shots (winners of the East) led by "The Hedge Hog" Ron Jeremy
should meet the Cleveland Cum Dumpsters led by Lisa Lipps (winners of the central) in the
play-offs and Portland Pubes led by Celebrity Captain Clarence Thomas (sponsored by Coke)
against Minnesota Mushroom Stampers led by John Bobbit.
In the final I see Ron Jeremy’s Money Shots
outlasting the Pubes.
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