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I want to dance like a retard! A Story by |
| I like to think of
myself as a pretty normal guy, but my opinion of myself has changed lately. I've come to
the conclusion that I'm a weird bastard who may be insane. Why do I suddenly think that of myself? Well it's because of some thoughts that have smuggled their way into my brain recently. These thoughts involve me and some odd desire to dance like a retard. That's right, you heard correctly, for some completely unexplainable reason I want to shuck and jive with reckless abandon. Music enters my head and I just want to do things...weird things. I want to flail my arms and shake one leg in the air, while I repeatedly point at my crotch. I want to strike Heisman poses, then suddenly bend overbackwards Matrix style to some imaginary beat. Pulling off the most complete and utterly ludicrous dance imaginable seems to be some subconscious goal of mine. I want to dance and look like Carlton from the Fresh Prince of Bel Air. I want to look like an intoxicated person trying to follow the instructions to the Humpty Dance. I want to look like Ickey Woods after a touchdown run. I want to look like Corky Thatcher at his senior prom. Why in the world would someone want to dance that stupid? I WISH I FREAKEN KNEW! These thoughts of mine make as little sense to me, as I'm sure they do to you. All my life, I've listened to rap music and I always tried to play it cool at gatherings that involved the playing of music. I'd nod my head to the beat, perhaps occasionally using my arms to express my approval with the tune selection. But that was the extent of the dancing aspect of my life. So now why in the hell do I want to shake my body around like a crack fiend who hasn't had a hit in weeks? Why do I want to interpret music into something that looks like a mime trying to express "vomit". I've come to two possible conclusions. Perhaps it's the honkey inside me finally showing itself. As you all know, white men can't jump..nor dance. Or it could be one other thing...I'm utterly insane. Call me crazy, but I WANT TO DANCE LIKE A RETARD!
*If there are others out there that would like to dance like a retard - Here are some web resources for you: |
-Now that you've read something, he's written. Wouldn't you like to find out more about Goc? Here You Go. |
