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Rants on Sports! A Story by |
| With all that has
happened in the world of sports over the past few weeks you knew someone here at Gyeah.com would have to open their mouth, so here you go.  VINCE CARTER.:
Please tell your mom to shut the hell up! I'm sure you're all just as sick and tired as
myself of hearing people's family members getting involved in their sports careers. Also,
as pointed out by fellow gyeah.com-er, doesn't this whole feud sound very familiar to
Glen Rice's wife publicly complaining that her husband wasn't getting enough playing time
with the Lakers awhile back. I'm quite possibly the biggest vincanity mark in the
U.S...... and Canada (because we all know them damn Canadians really don't give an F about
basketball). Anyways back to my point, for about a 3 day period the entire sports world
decided to launch an attack on Vince. "He can't lead a team" "He falls
apart under pressure" "He is no where to be found when the team needs him."
So what does Mr. Air Canada himself do? Strap on the head band, suck it up, and lead his
team to three straight victories. Two against the knicks to knock them out of the playoffs
and one against the 76ers to take a 1-0 lead in the best of 7 series. lesson: Don't F with
someone who can hurdle Dikembe Mutumbo! ZHIZHI WANG: Quickly becoming a crowd favorite in Dallas. You gotta
love this guy. I was first introduced to the 7 foot 1 inch Asian sensation in game 4 of
the Dallas - Utah series. Dallas was winning this game by like 25 points in the fourth
quarter and all of a sudden the camera man starts panning down the bench and focuses on
WANG. Sorry, I thought I'd capitalize for all the ladies. This man doesn't miss....and
he's 7'1. With the crowd chanting WANG - WANG - WANG, he hit a three pointer, a 15 footer,
and a 17 footer in three consecutive times down the court. We won't talk about his defense
or his blocking out skills, but if you need someone to hit a game winner WANG IS YOUR MAN!
lesson: Asian men can hit the 3!
TIE DOMI: Sounds quite marshal
art like! For the few of you who care about hockey, or even noticed they are playoff-ing
right now, I won't claim to know much about the sport except that its
BORING!!!!!!!!!!!!!!! I might rather watch nascar or soc......ok, soccer might be going a
little far. But Damn that was a sweet hit....TV ratings might jump now if we can just
incorporate more of that into the everyday hockey game....match......tournament or
whatever they call it. lesson: Hockey + big hits, still = who cares
-In
closing, I would like to send a very special thanks and to offer my first and second born
children to the Dallas Mavericks and The Toronto Raptors for single handedly knocking the
Jazz and the Knicks out of the playoffs. Now I can sleep at night knowing that we don't
have to watch either team in the championship. |
-Now that you've read something, he's written. Wouldn't you like to find out more about Skizzow? Here you go. |
STEVE NASH: Can anyone say Dominic from the
real world a couple years back. You know the English guy, Nash could be his brother. I've
heard Goc spouting astronomical amounts of Nash propaganda in the past, but never
witnessed the bed head in action til the playoffs. And believe me, it was all true, this 4
foot bed headed circus midget throws more acrobatic carnival shiz than Steve-O (former
Ringling brother, now regular on the show jackass). He will join fellow teammate Dirk on
my all "haircut anyone?" team! I can't clown too hard though, he's got way too
much flava! lesson: A bad hairdo allows you to make John Stockon your bitch! 
TRACY MCGRADY:
Quite possible the best all around player in the league now. Its just too bad he has no
one to give him his dribble back. If Grant hill ever gets on the court again don't we have
a similar scenario to Michael and Scottie? Only problem is who's Michael and who's
Scottie? Better yet this would be more like Michael and Michael! All disrespect meant
Scottie! Hell even if my prediction is correct and Grant Hill's career is over, don't we
still have 4 role players and one amazing player. In fact if you run the numbers Darrell
Armstrong is probably a better player without McGrady than Pippen has been without Jordan.
Tracy finally got what he wanted, his own team and at the young age of 22 look out for the
Orlando Bulls in the near future. lesson: If your cousin has more game than you, move to a
different town where there is no game what-so-ever......and proceed to dominate!
MICHAEL VICK: Now
don't get me wrong, Vick is definitely worthy of a johnson slobbing. I can't wait to see
him in the NFL, he is one hell of an athlete. But when did he become a great quarterback
worth 50 million over 6 years? I don't know if I was watching different college football
last fall than the rest of the football world, or what! Vick is not a good passing
quarterback. He's very inaccurate, not to mention nowhere near worth 50 mil. Do they want
another kordel Stewart (a very athletic player who refuses to play any other position than
QB)? Just think back a couple years when the Steelers were contenders, think if Kordel
would have excepted his role as a secret weapon. It might have made the difference. If
Vick can get over the whole "I have to play quarterback" syndrome. I think he
has a serious future in the NFL, hurting defenses via everyway imaginable. Otherwise his
QB career could be short lived. lesson: If you can't pass very well work on your 40 yard
dash and vertical leap, you can still be drafted as a quarterback #1 overall. And really,
in the end, who'll have the last laugh when your 5 year NFL career comes to an end after
only 1 year of actually playing and you're 50 million dollars ahead?
