|Editor's Note: As we all know, it's been a mere 7 days since the
tragedy that's taken place in our country. We at GYEAH.com have tried to cover the events
and voice our thoughts to the best of our ability. But there's no way we can compete or do
the events justice the way the Drudge Report and the O'Reilly Factor can. So with that
said, we're going to go back to mostly articles that are more our style. Our style being
lots of dick and fart jokes, constant buttsex references, and more cynicism than a hundred
Dennis Miller rants. We will still have articles about the events that are shaping our
world, but we think making people laugh is just as valuable now, and we're alot better at
it then Dan Rather. So while he sticks to what he does best, we're going to get back to
what we do best. So prepare for some good ol' GYEAH.com ranting and...GOD BLESS AMERICA!
Now that that's been said, let's let Goc get to ranting....
For three years now I've been pissed off by a certain group
of people. I was first exposed to these people when I shipped off from home and headed to
the world of higher education. I expected big lectures, intelligent teachers,
controversial subjects, lots of beer, and everything else under the sun. But there was one
thing I didn't expect....f*cking suitcases. Yeah that's right, I for one am sick and tired
of seeing students rolling luggage down the hallway and acting like that god damn suitcase
is a book bag.
I know that not many students do this, it's mostly just
older non-traditional students, but it still pisses me off. I've even some
professors rolling these things around. If you're scratching your head and thinking,
"hey, I've never seen people bring suitcases to class." Well thank you're lucky
stars, but you're days are numbered. With each increasing day, I see more and more foolios
bring their Samsonites to class. I'm not down with this trend in the least.
Every time I'm in a college hall and I hear those squeaking
wheels coming my way, I want to charge in front of the puller of the luggage and demand an
explanation. I want to know what classes they're taking that require a book holder that is
too big to be stored in your overhead compartment. I want to know if there's a midget in
there, or if they have some sort of magic act planned. I want to scream, "Does this
look like Hawaii?" And when they stammer and stutter out a "No." I want to
yell right back, "Well, then this isn't a vacation so leave your F*CKING LUGGAGE AT
These people are the 21st century version of bag ladies,
touting around every possession, they could possibly need for one second of their lives,
with them wherever they go. I've seen ladies pull 3 hole punches out of these bags at the
drop of a hat. How many times do you really use a 3 hole punch? I cut my toenails
more than I use a 3 hole punch, and if anyone has seen me sockless, then they'd know I
have 5 reasonably sized swords protruding off of each foot.
What I'm trying to say is, do these people really have so
many books and papers that they really require rolling luggage to accommodate it all? The
answer is a resounding, "Hell mothergrabbin' NO!" These people probably drive
eighteen wheelers around when they could get the job done with a Geo Metro. Bigger isn't
better people, just ask Shooks. And are you really so lazy that you need wheels? So until
you carry your own damn books and ditch the luggage, I'm going to keep screaming at you,
"What's with the f*cking suitcase?!?"