| Over the past few
days, I've come to a startling conclusion: Kevin Smith & Timbaland are one in the
same. Kevin Smith of Clerks, Mallrats, Chasing Amy, etc. and Timbaland who's responsible
for such songs as Aaliyah's "Are You That Somebody," Bubba Sparxxx's
"Ugly," Ginuwine's "None of Our Friend's Business," etc. are not two,
but one single person. After a long week of MTV and internet reading, I had an epiphany,
and am certain that these two foolios are needlessly paying taxes twice, as they share the
same body. They've pulled the wool over the public's collective eyes for too long now.
Today, I'm going to pull off Kevin Smith's trenchcoat and show that Timbaland is hiding
inside it. Don't believe me? Here's the evidence: -Both have jobs in the entertainment business where they work behind the scenes. Timbaland produces hip-hop, R&B, and pop music for more acts than practically anyone, but his name is not on any of the by-lines. Sure you could dig around and read in the CD jacket and find out he's the man behind the music, but it's not readily apparent to the CD buying masses. The same applies to Kevin "Don't Call me Silent Bob" Smith as his job title is that of "director." As he calls out shots and throws points for the actors in his movies, few know that he's the one running the show. They have very high profile jobs, but they're a few steps back from actually being "superstars." -Both men, though, haven't let their titles pigeon-hole them though. Nearly every song that Tim produced, that turns into a video, you'll find him in. He'll be dancing a jig, and the same goes for Smith. His character of Silent Bob has been in every single movie he's directed up to this point. -And both men aren't just playing second-banana in videos and movies, they've also had solo projects of their own. Tim put out the solo CD titled "Tim's Bio," and Smith's most recent movie "Jay & Silent Bob Strike Back" had Kevin in a starring role. Both men had a taste of fame and yearned for a little bit more for themselves. -Another odd coincidence about the two is that they ALWAYS roll with the same entourage. Everywhere Timbaland goes, Missy Elliott, Ginuwine, and others are always within arm's reach. Smith has a similar close circle of Scott Mosier, Walt Flannagan, Jason Mewes, Ben Affleck, etc. Perhaps these crews of people know the truth that I'm attempting to expose today, hmmmmm... -But that's not it, there's more....Have you ever really looked at the figure or physique of these two (ha!) men. Both are not exactly heavyset, but both are certainly healthy men. Sure Smith is a little healthier than Timbo, but that's just another part of the coverup. And I understand that one is Caucasian and the other is African-American...or are they? Can you really tell for sure? The world claims that Michael Jackson is black, but that certainly isn't evident. Jackson and Macauly Culkin seem oddly similar also, but that's a whole 'nother article. -Back to Smith/Tim, if anyone has seen a Smith movie or a video with Tim in it, they'll agree with me on this point. Sure these guys are cooler than the other side of the pillow, but both of them often showcase some of the goofiest facial expressions imaginable. Watch J&B Strike Back and you'll see Smith look like a goofball more than a dozen times, the same can be said of Tim in the Petey Pablo or Bubba Sparxxx recent videos. Check out these images of similar goofy looks from both (ha!) men:
-Both men, often times appear mute. Smith, as Silent Bob, doesn't have the ability to speak as that character and has to rely on the facial expressions we highlighted above. Tim is also rendered mute in many of his appearances to the public. As he works it around in a video that he produced, he's more than likely just responsible for the beat....none of the lyrics. Both men could be afraid to speak as it would give away what we already know now.... KEVIN SMITH & TIMBALAND ARE THE SAME PERSON!!!! |
-Now that you've read something, he's written. Wouldn't you like to find out more about The Goc? Here you go. |
