|It's a well-known
fact that I, Jesse J Schutterle, am not the happiest f*cker on this earth. Let's keep this
one short and sweet. It's too late to be messing around with big words and whatnot. This
is why I'm so pissed
and they are, in no particular order:
damn school - Son of a bitch I hate school. All it does is take up my time, makes
me get up early and shit. I thought working second shift was gonna be cake cause I can
sleep in till 230-300 at the latest. Damn that would be cool. But such a scenario is a
falsity! Monday, Wednesday , and Friday I'm up at 7:30 or 8:00! Wtf! I haven't had to get
up that early since high school!
2. Hoss=work horse - 4:00 to 12:00 at
night! Can you believe that shit?! People around here are always talking about going out
to the bars and shit. What is a bar? Is it a cylindrical object made of metal? That's my
definition of a bar. And this 40 hour a week shit has got to go. Way too much time is
spent on the road as well. I spend around 14 hours a week just getting to and from work.
That's two hours I could be working at a homeless soup kitchen or playing with myself. Oh
yeah what the hell is a weekend?
3. I couldn't get laid from a coked up necrophiliac
- My hours don't permit such activities to happen. Or even such Christian-like activities
as horse back riding or taking in a PG-13 movie. What a life I live. My days off are
Mondays and Tuesdays. I'm a huge turn-on for women who enjoy the early week party scene.
Maybe I should try picking up bar whores?
4. Thomas Richard Edward Shook - I wish I
could take his life and get away with it. He purposely runs to Tama right after I leave
today, thus avoiding the dirty dish situation that has arisen. I am not doing the f*cking
dishes again. I did them last time. And guess what the f*cker does. When he does do the
dishes he doesn't dry them. Half-asser. Then when he lays them on the counter he refuses
to turn the spoons over, thus letting the salt in the water stay on the spoon after said
water evaporates. Gross shit and he sees nothing wrong with it. He is a barbaric lardass.
He also has a dumbass habit of leaving 10-12 dirty washcloths in the shower. Does he not
know those things are reusable? I'd better throw them on his floor so they can dry out
5. God references after last week's event in NYC
- What the hell people? God was there? Barbara Walters thinks so. I say why didn't he save
some more lives if he was there. If I sat outside a burning building reading a magazine
and let everyone die would people say "Oh he was there" and "I felt his
presence"? Hell no! They'd ask why I didn't save those people. God can kiss my arse.
Oh my! I can't believe I said that! Oh wait God isn't gonna do jack cause he's an armchair
quarterback/absentee landlord/backseat driver.
6. People on ICQ - Ok f*ckers when I send you a
.and you don't reply back
that really and I mean really pisses this
chronic masturbater off. So reply back
a simple "f*ck you" or "stop
talking to me" would more than suffice. At least I know that you're getting my
-Thank you, good day.