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Ranting Up a Storm! A ranting session by |
You know those days when you wake up crabby as hell? You know those days when you'd rather punch someone than say "Hi" to them? Well, this is one of those days. This is one of those days where everything is pissing me off. Today I'm going to RANT UP A STORM.....
The Braves Land Another Bastard!!!! -What's with this crap? I don't care about salary caps or any of that noise, there is NO reason for Gary Sheffield to be traded for a jobber like Brian "I wish I was Bo Jackson" Jordan. Sheffield had a better year any freaken way you look at it. He had a better batting average, more homeruns, and more R.B.I.'s. Why is it that superstars are constantly traded for nobodies in major league baseball? I smell collusion, or maybe I just need a shower. Something stinks, that's for sure.
Sell me some bullshit!!!! -I don't know about you, but I'm addicted to Olympic's themed videogames. From Track & Field on the original Nintendo to all the Olympic games released on Playstation and Nintendo 64. We got a sweet ass ESPN Track & Field game for PS2, but now Salt Lake City 2002 is ready to drop on nearly every next-gen system. But for some reason that completely eludes me, there are only 6 events!!!! Six events, WTF? There better be some Willie Gault/Herschel Walker bobsled action or I'm really gonna snap!!! The real Olympics last for nearly an entire month, and there's like a hundred different forms of figure skating...so why do we only get 6 total events?!? It's bullshit!!!!
Sell me some more bullshit!!! -You thought 6 events was weak? Well how about EA Sports upcoming March Madness 2002 for PS2. Remember NCAA Football 2002 on PS2? You could work over an endless number of seasons in dynasty mode and even recruit high schoolers. So what do the monopolists at EA have planned for their college basketball counterpart? Not a freaken thing!!! There is no dynasty mode...and NOT EVEN A SEASON MODE!!!! All you can play is exhibition (aka pointless) games and a mock tournament. Where's the fun in that? A company needs to step up and unseat EA from their complacency! I fart in their general direction!
Fuck Chapstick, Fuck it in it's stupid ass!!! -Sometimes you just have to say, "What the fuck?" And when I watched the trailer for the upcoming Richard Queer film, The Mothman Prophecies (aka The Gerbil Tube from hell), I ripped off that phrase multiple times. The movie is supposed to look all evil and looming, but when he's on the phone with his nemesis, he asks him "What do I have in my hand?" to prove his psychic abilities, he gets the reply of "Chapstick." WTF? It might have well as been a spiky dildo dipped in peanut butter, and it wouldn't have been any lamer. Have Gere holding a knife, a cigarette, a lighter...ANYTHING BUT ASS-CHAPPED STICK!!!!!! The gerbil has chaffed up Richard's bottom and Miss Cleo called him on it!!!!
Who let the Oscar out? WHO?!? WHO?!? -There's another movie trailer that's turning my bowels inside out, and that's Disney's Snow Dogs. First off whoever thinks that ANYONE still finds the Baha Men's "Who Let the Dogs Out" still appealing needs shot in their face with a tank gun. Even grandmothers find this song to be worse than nails on a chalkboard. Yet for some reason Disney thinks it's exactly what it needs to promote this joke of a movie, while they work on pumping out more candy ass flicks. Ted Demme dies, yet Walt Disney lives forever in popsicle form....there's no god! Oh, but I'm not done with this rant. If you noticed in the trailer, Cuba Gooding Jr. is starring in this husk vehicle. This man has an Oscar on his mantle for gods sake! It should immediately be stolen from him for this garbage. First Pearl Harbor and now this! What happened to the god ol' days of Gladiator (the original boxing-themed one) and Judgment Night of Cuba's past? Take his Oscar and take his life.
What do you got to say? Well, that's enough ranting for me for one day, now it's your turn.... |
-Now that you've read something, he's written. Wouldn't you like to find out more about The Goc? Here you go. |
