| Yes, it's true...a
Jessica Simpson CD review is on the GYEAH.com servers. Somehow I got the short end of the
stick and I got the 'fun' task of reviewing this latest pop offering from the #3 chick on
the mini-diva totem pole. Skizzow has been spouting J.Simpson love in my ears for months
now, but I've never really been a mark. And I'm not really digging her music either. I can
stand some Britney and X-tina tracks, but I've never found a Simpson one I could really
stand. So with that said, it only makes sense that I review her whole DAMN CD...wait..that
doesn't make any sense. Hehe, well I'm gonna do it anyways. Bear with me, I'll try and be
as fair as I can be: IRRESISTIBLE I thought Jessica was supposed to be the sweet non-sexual one of the three
pop divas? Well what the hell happened? Have you seen this video? She looks kinda out of
place trying to be all sexy Britney style. But I know more than a few guys that were
eating it up, so I guess she is doing something right. But back to the track, it's damn
decent for female pop, but you won't catch me singing "He's Irresistible," but I
know the chick-a-dees will.
Track Rating: $1.25
A LITTLE BIT On this track, Jessica is talking
about fixing a struggling relationship. She switches up her voice on the track, and simply
put this is good pop music. I can see this one being a radio single. It's got all a pop
hit needs: #1. Nice Music, #2. Catchy Chorus, #3. It's about Love. Your GF will mark out
for this song.
$1.25
FOREVER IN YOUR EYES Mark my words, this will be a
single..I damn near guarantee it this time. It's got some latin sounding guitar type ish,
which everyone knows is the rage these days. Yet again, soild pop.
$1.00
THERE YOU WERE (Duet with Marc
Antony) This sounds like something straight off the Mulan soundtrack or something?
Seriously though, the first thing I think off when I hear it is some sort of Disney movie.
Jessica and Marc do their thing. It's not my style, but I think some will really like it.
Hence the rating...
$1.50
WHAT'S IT GONNA BE A happy go-lucky track about you
guessed it...love. But yet again, it's perfect pop music. And Jessica can actually sing.
But it sounds a little too much like Brittney, even the beat sounds oddly familar.
$0.50
WHEN YOU TOLD ME YOU LOVED ME A song about the one that got away, a pop staple. Jessica belts out the
hook, but it's nothing we haven't heard. But to those that girls that can relate, they
might really love this one. I just don't know of any guys, that would be worth singing
this deeply about. But what do I know, I'm a guy myself.
$0.40
HOT LIKE FIRE Hot Like Fire starts off with Jessica's friend telling her that her
"man" is all over some chick. I assume they speak of Mr. 98 Degree, but we all
know he's perfect so we'll just assume it's any guy. This is a girl revenge track to the
T. To me this sounds like a Ricky Martin song, even down to the beat. I hate Ricky, and
the hook just sounds forced.
$0.25
IMAGINATION - This
track almost sounds like a hip hop beat..almost. On this one, as you can expect Jessica
imagines that her perfect man paid her a visit. Personally I piss all over this track, but
I can see girls cleaning their rooms to this track...or whatever.
$0.50
TO FALL IN LOVE AGAIN This is a slow love song, where you can tell Jessica is singing
her ass off. But it's just too slow for me. I'm sorry, but I have a hard time believing
this girl has really experinced broken hearts and love bullsh*t that the rest of us have.
But I'm probably just a jaded bastard.
$0.25
FOR YOUR LOVE Oh god no,
starting off a pop love song with a piano! How many times have we heard this? And wait,
isn't pop love song a little redundant? When's the last time you heard a song on the radio
that wasn't about love? Find a new subject..PLEASE! Love's great and all, but isn't the
great thing about love is...you don't have to say anything at all? Everyone has heard a
song just like this, you won't be impressed.
$0.10
I NEVER - The teeny boopers will eat this one up, that's for sure. Jessica is pretty
entertaining when she sticks to the formulas set by other female artists, but when she
goes off on crazy tangents I just can't get into it. I know some others will disagree, but
that's just how I feel about it. But back to this song, it's solid pop, your girl will
enjoy.
$1.00
HIS EYE IS ON THE SPARROW Now this has got to be the craziest ass song title I've ever
heard. This song sounds like it belongs in some musical or play or something. She belts
out all sorts of lyrics to very little music. The problem is my basement isn't
Broadway...so I've got no love. Can someone please explain this track to me? And why in
the middle of the song, it sounds like xmas music? And then with some sort of church
sounding background? What the hell? (scratches head?) I think it's a gospel song, I think
I need to get my butt to church.
$0.25
I can't believe it, but I survived
listening to this CD not once, not twice, but three times. I hope to god it's the last
time too. But I already promised my girlyfriend that I would burn it for her, so it looks
like I'm screwed. I'm not a huge fan of pop music or solo female pop artists (except for Nelly Furtado), but to my untrained ears this seems like a
decent CD. It's not gonna smash down any walls or break any new ground, but if you like
the same ol' stuff, pick up this CD ladies. But please don't play it around me.
Album worth: $8.25
Album price: $14.99
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