Bouncer
 

The Bouncer
Play the movie!


Review by Vigilante

System:   Playstation 2
Genre:   Action/RPG
Rating: 'T' for Teen
  Developer:   Squaresoft
Release Date:   Available Now
Gameplay: 
Visuals: 
Audio: 
Innovation: 
Replay Value:
"Holy Sh*t" Factor: 
Squaresoft makes its first title for the PSX2, and it has been a long time coming. Square has promised us a game that blends action, adventure, and RPG elements together in one action packed game. It does so, but the mixture is not nearly as even as they want you to believe.

In "The Bouncer", Sion is a bouncer in a Dog Street bar called 'Fate'. An organized kidnapping by the Mikado Group's Special Forces draws Sion and his friends, Volt and Kou,  into an incredible battle beyond the mean streets of the future.

Square doesn't tell a lie when they use the tag line, "Play the action movie". My friends you can beat this game with all three characters in less than 4 hours. That's bad, but can be overlooked if for those 4 hours you were busting people's heads open. But in the words of Stone Cold Steve Austin "UNH UNH"!! It's safe to say that in the hour it takes you to beat the game once, ONLY 20 minutes of that hour are you actually playing the game. The other 40 is of the most beautiful fmv cut screens you will ever lay your eyes on. I mean, folks it looks like you're watching a Saturday Morning Cartoon. Of course, I didn't buy this game for a cartoon. I bought it for a game, a game that doesn't exist.

The fighting engine in "The Bouncer" has to be one of the worst systems ever created. It doesn't take anything less than a bed wetting retard to figure out these moves. All you have to do is mash buttons, and "tada"! You are a bouncer master. That's it...really it is. What makes the horrible fighting engine even worse is that you often do moves that cause the camera angle to rotate rapidly. This completely sucks as it  throws you off as to where your character is on the screen and you sometimes find yourself completely away from the action.

To compare this game to "Final Fight" is not fair to Final Fight. Final Fight had moves that took a little more than button pressing to accomplish. The backgrounds may have not been interactive, but you could pick up a trash can and throw it or a crowbar and crack it over someone's head. In here, everything in the background is pre-rendered. Then, it loses points because Final Fight allowed to people to play simultaneously in story modes. Bouncer on the other hand does not; instead it allows the computer to control the other two bouncers while you control the third. This would be fine and dandy if the AI on your partners wasn't that of a flea. These folks don't do sh*t, but stand around and watch you get your ass kicked. This has to be THE most annoying thing known to man. If they're going to be there, in the way…make them do something worthwhile. If not, move their punk asses or let a second player take over control of one of them. To make up for this half assed-ness, Square throws in a multiplayer mode where 3 or more people can play against each other. This would be pretty neat if the fighting engine wasn't so juvenile, and if the characters that are selectable weren't simply clones of each other (Dauragon, Dauragon without jacket, Dauragon without shirt..ect.)

Squaresoft does pick up some points in doing what it knows best. Creating a very deep story, that combines the stories of the three bouncers tremendously. Though, the third bouncer Kou's storyline is not nearly as interesting as the other two and seems like a "oh damn...we have nothing for him to do. So we'll just make him...blah blah". It’s not bad, but it’s very obvious.

Once you beat it with all three characters, this one will be on the shelf for life. Square had the right idea with this game, but it was all done wrong. Thus making, "The Bouncer"  like a longer version of those demo disks you get at your local videogame store. It has all the fmv movies, and allows you to play a few minutes of gameplay. Unfortunately for "Bouncer"...that’s the entire game. RENT it, like you do any other from Blockbuster.


The Good! The Last Word(s):

If you want something to show off the power of your Playstation 2, but not give you at least 30 minutes of gameplay. This is the game for you. Otherwise, save your 49.00 dollars for something with a little more substance.

Final Rating:

48%
L
.A. Clippers-ish

  • Best visuals I've ever laid my eyes on.
  • Great Storyline
  • Audio and dialogue are awesome.
The Bad...
  • Shorter than Rave's sex life.
  • Button Masher
  • Horrible Camera Angles
The UGLY.
  • Stupid Computer Ally AI.
  • No two player simaltaneous mode.

BY THE NUMBERS:
For those of you with too much time on your hands, here's the overly-complex system of how it's done:

Each game is given a rating from 1 to 5, with 1 being horrible to 5 being outstanding, in 6 different categories.  We then take an arbitrary number from the deepest crevices of our ass (basically what we think the game deserves without averaging any numbers together), and then a GYEAH.com stamp quote. 1-10 (Pure Husk); 11-20 (DEAD); 21-30 ("companies" buttchild); 31-40 (Terriable); 41-50 (L.A. Clippers-ish); 51-60(Average as your girlfriend); 61-70(Coolio); 71-80(Way Pimpy); 81-90 (Hotter than Prison Sex); 91-99 (Iconish); 100 (GOD-LIKE). Enjoy.