Conker's Bad Fur Day

Everyone has seen and played platform action/adventure games before. If you are like me then you just plain love 'em' and buy every new one that comes out. However, one problem with platformers has been that they are a little on the kiddie side. The puzzles in the games sometimes take the intellect of an adult but the themes have been a little lame. There are even games that if someone were to catch you play, they might question your sexuality. Banjo Kazooie for instance. Don't get me wrong, I love the game, but honestly, a bear in yellow shorts! Anyway, Rare has changed all that with the creation of Conker's Bad Fur Day. Rare took a cute little squirrel character design, (take a look at Diddy Kong Racing to see the original concept) and totally revamped it. They took away all his virtuous qualities, and substituted them with; greed, vengeance, humor, and a badass attitude. With that said what you end up with is a game of not just non-stop humor, but a very entertaining game as well.

The game starts off with a prologue. It shows Conker sitting on a throw wearing a crown. He then begins to tell you his story on how he got to be king. Then it goes to a scene of him celebrating a very important occasion....his 21st birthday. He gives his girlfriend a call saying he's gonna be a little late. They then show him after he leave's the bar staggering trying to find his way home. Given his condition he can't quite remember the way, and finally passes out. This is when the game starts. You take control of Conker while he is suffering probably the worst hangover of his life. The great thing is he doesn't run or walk he staggers, he doesn't jump high in the air he only can make it a couple inches off the ground, and he can barely through a punch. Needless to say you can't go through a game like this. You finally meet up with a scarecrow named Birdy, who shows you how to use context sensitivity pads, which I'll explain later. Conker is then able to use one of these pads administer a good old hang over cure..some alkaseltzer. So begins Conker's quest on his search for a way home. One of the best things about the game is the motivation for performing favors and such for the other characters. Is it magic stars, golden puzzle pieces, coins? Hell no, Conker is after the driving force of the world today...money. So on he goes looking for a way home and collecting some moola along the way.

The visuals in this game are outstanding. Rare has again proven they are the best at what they do, and also shown what the N64 can do as well. Where do I start? There are detailed facial expressions and facial movements, which is amazing given the amount of speech in this game. The lighting effects are unbelievable, and the water effects are some of the best I've seen. Combine that with environments and characters that reflect what's going on at the time. If you are in a prehistoric area, you will see cavemen and dinosaurs with amazing prehistoric environment. If you are in the dark gloomy graveyard area, you will see zombie squirrels, vampires, and angry villagers aching to torch 'em'. An if you are in a big pile of dung (yes, I said a big pile of dung) then you will see dung beetles and sweet corn, and the mysterious being, who likes to eat sweet corn....hehe. The time spent on designing Conker and his facial and body expressions alone is amazing. When Conker gets drunk, a nice grin comes across his face as he stumbles around, when the after effects of the alcohol take their toll, Conker walks around with both hands on his head, bloodshot eyes and his tongue hanging out, stopping occasionally to puke. The reactions are great and give a sense of the real world to an otherwise cartoon world. The graphics cannot be truely explained, you just have to play the game and see for yourself.

If the fact that the amount of audio dialogue in this game isn't amazing, the fact that Rare was able to squeeze so much into a cartridge is. Many character, and many different voices. Each one fits well with the individual character. Whether it be the the foul mouthed cogs, Conker's long lost relative, who bears a strong resemblance to a certain Bram Stoker character, or a large singing pile of poo, each one has a particular voice adding to the atmosphere of the area and the appearance of the character. Plus Conker himself has a seeming unlimited number of comments he makes throughout the game. When he's suffering a hangover he makes little comments like "I don't feel so well" just as he is about ready to puke. Take that plus the addition of great back ground music adding to the overall mood of the game. The sound in this game is unprecedented, and won't be surpassed on N64, especially since there are not many games left.

The game play in this game is great. There are so many new areas filled with more interesting and twisted characters, you just want to keep playing. The pure comedy aspect of this game is enough to make it a good game, but the designers added a good story, and great control. The story, which I explained earlier is simple. Conker is trying to find his way home, and if he can collect a little money along the way, then great. There is a bit more to the story. Conker comes upon many different characters, many of them who resemble certain movie characters. Whether it be Dracula, guards in a lobby("Please remove any metallic objects you are carrying"( yeah you know what I'm talking about)), and even a mafia type group of characters. These characters add to the story and also make you laugh your ass off. As for the controls go, the design team had a great idea. I mentioned earlier about context sensitivity pads. There are certain pads or areas that when Conker goes over, a light bulb appears over his head. When you press "B" in these areas, Conker will do whatever is necessary in that area (get it context sensitive). For instance if Conker needs to hit some enemies or a switch from a distance, then he will whip out a sling shot or throwing knives, if you are fighting a giant poo monster, then Conker will pull out some economy sized toilet paper to throw at him. You get the idea. What this does is not limit the game to the same set of moves, keeping it fresh and new. I almost forgot to mention Multi-player. The game is a little easy, so you will have it beat in a couple weeks or so, but if you a getting sick of playing through the single player game over and over, then you are in luck. This game boasts several different modes of multiplayer. From a third person shooter type death match, to racing, to death match with tanks, etc, etc. One of the greatest would have to be the Saving Private Ryan inspired beach scene. Where one player is the Tediz (Nazi) force and the other is the squirrels(Allied Forces). The Tediz are trying to prevent the squirrels from advancing up the beach. The Tediz can only stay in their bunker, but have at their disposal, sniper rifles, rocket launcher, and a very large rapid fire gun. The squirrels are pretty much screwed, and have only their quickness and rocks to hide behind. The game goes till you have no people left on the squirrel side or you get all the squirrels to safety. I see great mulitplayer possibilities with this scenario and a group of friends.

The Holy Sh*t Factor on this game would actually probably be above 4 out of stars, but supposedly anything more than 100 percent is impossible....ah f*ck it I give it 5 out of 4 stars. Anyway, when you start out the game plastered, you know it's gonna be a great game. From the Matrix lobby scene, to the suggestive sexual content, and the foul mouthed characters, all make you stand there with your mouth wide open. Especially when you hear the first character tell Conker to F*ck Off, or the giant pile of poo asking Conker if he'd like some more skat you little twat. I don't want to spoil everything, so I won't say anymore, but all of this make the game offensive, disgusting, and distasteful. Just the way it should be. As stated by Bart Simpson, "It's so much like my dreams it's scary."

In conclusion this game is top notch. Nintendo players have been asking for a break in the kiddie games for years, and Conker deals it all out. The game is great, twisted humor all the way through, the only problem is, where has this game been the last couple years. Nintendo waits till the end of 64's life to put out this great piece of gaming. Maybe that's why the sales on this game are terrible. That and the game was marketed towards the 17 and older audience, which Nintendo really doesn't have. If you have a Nintendo 64 and you don't have this game, then you are cheating yourself. Go out and pick this one up. If you have a 64 and don't want this game cuz of the offensive language and such, then what the hell are you doing at Gyeah.com, go back to the Nsync site you pansy ass! So dust off you N64, put down your PS2 controller and play this game.

The Good!		The Last Word(s): N64 is in it's final days, but this game proves that Nintendo has life left in it. This game has it all, great game play, graphics sound, and great multiplayer modes. Combine that with some of the great humor and you have one hell of a game. Can't wait till Conker 2 comes out on GameCube. Final Rating: 98% Iconish
Incredible Graphics. Incredible Sound. Humorous Gameplay. One of the best N64 games.
The Bad...
Nintendo should have more games like this. Should have been released a long time ago. A little on the easy side, but nothing to degrade the gameplay.
The UGLY.
Nintendo's last great N64 game, what the hell am I suppose to do all summer til' GameCube comes out!!!?